Clear Hearts, Grey Flowers
by FallingBroken
Summary: Axel's grandma has passed away and he goes to Roxas for support even though he had shamed himself in front of Roxas so many months ago. Roxas agrees to attend the funeral with a few catches.


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Rating: **M **

Description: _Axels' grandma has passed away and he goes to Roxas for support even though he had shamed himself in front of Roxas so many months ago. Roxas agrees to attend the funeral with a few __catches. (CRAPPY DISCRIPTION ALERT!)_

_A/N: Hey guys! New inspirations! I promise you, there is hope for the next few chapters...I know the first is a bit...on the dull side. Anyways. Meant to become AkuRoku slash incase you couldn't have already GUESSED. Please review, even if you hated it! I want to know what you thought of it! hopeing to have next chapter up in a couple of days~  
_

**I do not own Kingdom Hearts, or any of it's characters. There's a disclaimer for ya ;A;**

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**Clear Hearts, Grey Flowers**

_**Chapter one**_

Axel stood in front of Roxas' apartment, beating wildly on the door. The hallway he was standing in smelt of must and cheap cleaning products, as it always had when he came to visit. Eventually he had gotten over the nauseated feel when the scent wafted towards his nostrils but today it stung to breathe it in. How long had it been since he had visited Roxas last? Two months? Three? It had felt like years.

There were restless footsteps from inside the apartment, and the doorknob turned slowly. Axel clenched his fists in order to help him keep himself from tackling his old friend with a gigantic bear hug. Roxas never really like people to touch him. He had a terrible fear of germs.

The door swung open as hard as it could have flung and hit Axel square in the face. He had forgotten that this door opens outward instead of inward, like any normal door would. His face stung.

"Where the hell have you been!" Roxas screamed, letting the lilac and lemon smell seep out of his home, sending chills down Axels' back. He had always loved that smell, it was more delicious then anything in the world. Even then the smell of sex.

"That's no way to greet an old friend" Axel smirked, rubbing the bridge of his nose where the door had hit hardest. Roxas crossed his arms tightly. His eyes flashed a divine look of anguish, hurt, confusion, but also admiration.

Finally, he let his eyes drop away from Axels' breathtakingly handsome face to roam around the carpet as a deep red flushed the pale from his face. "I'm sorry…it's just that its been so long… without even so much as a call." There was sadness in his voice. Axel didn't realize that Roxas had missed him that much. After all, they were merely friends. There was nothing too significant about their relationship.

"Can I come in? I've got something I need to ask you."

Axel was still rubbing the bridge of his nose, perhaps just to avoid seeming too awkward standing there. Roxas moved aside, allowing enough room for him to slip past. The apartment hadn't changed all that much. It was still as cozy as ever. Roxas scuttled into the kitchen like some sort of housemaid.

"Would you like anything to drink?" he shouted from the other room. Axel nodded a yes, but then quickly remembering Roxas couldn't see him, and yelled out "Water would be fine."

Slowly Axel made his way a few steps into the living room and sat down on the couch. When Roxas reappeared he handed him the glass of water, with one eyebrow raised.

"You sure I can't get you anything else? I've got vodka. It's not like you to not ask for alcohol…"

Axel shrugged "I've been clean of alcohol for a couple of weeks now."

Roxas inhaled deeply, moving to sit on the armchair. Somehow he didn't seem too surprised that Axel had given up alcohol. "So what have you come for?" he asked smugly, sitting in the chair cross-legged. Typical Roxas. Same as always. However, upon second glance Axel noticed how much he had changed since they last met. He held himself with more dignity, more self awareness. His cheekbones had grown broader, giving his face a more sleek appearance, almost like an attractive woman with a cheeky boyish look. His blond hair shone in the light that leaked through the window. Such beautiful hair…

"Oh…right." Axel came back to the present time. He was surprised how fuzzy inside Roxas made him feel. After all, Roxas was probably the closest friend he had ever had in his entire life. Which was saying a lot.

"Well…there's been some family problems."

Roxas tipped his head to one side, a little taken aback. The look on his face uttered something of question, as if he thought Axel might have been lying. After all, family was probably the only thing Axel had going for him at the moment.  
Roxas felt a twang of regret for slamming the door in his face.

"My grandmother died…" Immediately tears flowed down Axels' face, his body shuddering. Roxas flung himself to the couch, sitting beside Axel and wrapping his arms around those wide, masculine shoulders.

Roxas could feel Axels' entire body quake, but it felt nice to be there for somebody. He himself had known no family of his own. He had not the slightest bit of clue what it was that Axel felt. Probably some horrible loss, or perhaps regret of not being able to have a last goodbye.

"She fucking died Roxas! Died!" His lips trembled as he rested his head on Roxas' forearm. He had stopped shaking.

"How did it happen?" Roxas' voice was silky smooth and coaxing Axel back to sanity.

"She bled in her brain to death. They say she had brain cancer. I still can't believe it! It doesn't feel real to me! How could this happen, Roxas? How?"

New, wetter tears spurted from his eyes like a garden hose and made Roxas' arm moist

Roxas rubbed Axels' back apathetically and sighed. He stared compassionately at the ceiling. "It's how things go, the cycle of life. Everybody dies sooner or later. Our God is a careless God. He sits up on his cloud and laughs at us. His laugh is a cruel laughter. Everything is a joke to him. He kills somebody off, and laughs at their family's pain."

Axel sat up, removing himself from Roxas' grasp. He smiled his crooked smile, nodding his head in agreement. "Well all I am doing is making him laugh harder, playing along with his game then, huh?" His smile faded. He reached over to the coffee table to grasp his mug of water, daintily taking a sip.

"Some people say that when somebody dies, they come back to earth once again to finish tasks they never finished in their past life" Roxas explained in that dreamy voice of his. His mouth stayed somber, but he was keenly smiling through his eyes. "Or perhaps she's just in a better place. Where hurt and sorrow are just thoughts in the back of your head."

Axel looked down at his palms. "Maybe…"

"Your grandmother was a good person, Axel. She accomplished many things in her lifetime."

Axel smiled weakly "You're right, she did. And she always made the best desserts!" His face brightened again.

"That's right!" Roxas agreed, smiling as well "You would always bring over pies she made. Man, they were great. They melted in your mouth!"

Axel nodded and then looked over apologetically at Roxas, with the words 'I'm sorry' screaming all over his expression because he truly was sorry. He was sorry about so many things. He was mostly sorry about showing up at Roxas' front doorstep just to whine. He hadnt seen him in so long...after that night. That one night.

_flashback_

_**That night he was so drunk, so fucking smashed that he didn't even know his own name…let alone his surroundings. He sat alone in an ally. The stars were not shining that night. Everything was dark. He took a last long swig of his beer and threw the bottle as hard as he could at the brick wall in front of him. Glass shattered every which way, piercing him in places all over. **_

_**Vision blurred and blood gushing from his forehead, he attempted to stand. He pawed his way into the night, almost as if he was an infant again, just learning to walk. His head spun, his body ached, and he felt as though he had been plowed in the ass by another man. Suddenly in front of him, there was a light. **_

"_**Hello?" His voice was rugged, and it hurt his throat to talk. **_

"_**Oh my fucking god, Axel!" **_

_**For some reason the voice was familiar to him. It was soothing, it made his body warmer and for a moment he had forgotten the pain completely. The voice was coming from the light, why? **_

"_**What happened? Who hurt you?" The voice was now defensive, like its intent was suddenly to protect him. When had he been hurt? He didn't remember anything of the sort. All he knew is that he was weak. The light came so close that it warmed him, all of him, to the very core. He reached out and gripped for the being. Its flesh felt so soft, so warm, and yet so cool at the same time. **_

"_**Axel? What are you doing?" The voice was panic stricken, caught like a deer in the headlights. He couldn't help himself though, he knew he must enter this being, he must claim it as his own before someone else did. He had always been a jealous bitch.**_

_**Suddenly he smelt something, something like lemons. Something like lilacs. It surged through his body, and for a moment he regained his own conscious. This being was somebody he knew, somebody he cared for. His only friend. And he was going to violate him. **_

_**Axel immediately stepped away and removed his hands from out of the being's pants. A tear ran down his face, though he was still confused. He was ashamed. His friend! He stumbled away and broke out into a sprint. **_

_End flashback__  
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Roxas smiled back, accepting the apology. "I understand." His voice rung out, almost like it had its own melody.

"Can you come with me to the funeral?"

Roxas blinked a few times. He could not comprehend what Axels' family was like; in fact he didn't even have a mind set of what they were made up of. There was silence for a moment. "I-"

Axel cut him off. "Please Roxas? My family doesn't understand me the way you do. Please come with me! I need you!" Roxas blushed deeply again. How could he say no to Axel? After all it WAS just a funeral.

"I suppose I could…"

Axel leapt up into the air, bringing Roxas along with him and wrapping him in a deep bear hug, which crushed his innards.

"Oh, thank you!"

Roxas grunted. What had he gotten himself into?

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End file.
